Pope the Polack finds that his Catholic Christian empire is crumbling. He orders all the Vatican researchers to try and find a solution to this impending disaster.
\nOne day, Cardinal Catzass comes charging into the papal office.
\n“I’ve got it! I’ve got it!” screams Catzass. “In one of the old manuscripts, it says that God has left his final message on a tiny planet at the edge of the universe, called Hysteria.”<\/p>\n
Desperate, Pope the Polack empties out the safe of Banco Vaticano, and gives the money to the Russians to build him a rocket to take him to Hysteria.
\nAfter weeks of training, Pope the Polack, Cardinal Catzass, and a chimpanzee pilot, blast off from earth and hurtle through space towards the distant planet.
\nLight years later, they land at a tiny spaceport in the middle of the Hysteria desert, and the Polack pope does his thing kissing the dirt. On a signpost is written the words: “God’s last message — forty miles.”<\/p>\n
In full regalia, with his shepherd’s staff, rocket-shaped hat, and space suit, Pope the Polack sets off, trudging through the desert. Cardinal Catzass waves the incense-burner as they go. Ten hours and twenty miles later, both the Polack pope and Cardinal Catzass are on their hands and knees, gasping for water.
\nThe next morning sees the pair of Polacks pulling themselves slowly through the sand. That night, they reach the top of a small rise and look at the hills in the distance. There, in flashing neon lights, the whole hillside is lit up with God’s final message to the universe. It reads: “We apologize for any inconvenience.”<\/p>\n
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