{"id":5318,"date":"2018-03-23T17:05:41","date_gmt":"2018-03-23T17:05:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/guruquote.net\/?p=5318"},"modified":"2018-03-23T17:06:41","modified_gmt":"2018-03-23T17:06:41","slug":"paddy-goes-horse-races-dublin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/2018\/03\/23\/paddy-goes-horse-races-dublin\/","title":{"rendered":"Paddy goes to the horse races in Dublin"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"mp-row-fluid motopress-row mpce-dsbl-margin-left mpce-dsbl-margin-right\">\n<div class=\"motopress-clmn mp-span12  mpce-dsbl-margin-left mpce-dsbl-margin-right\">\n<div class=\"mp-row-fluid motopress-row mpce-dsbl-margin-left mpce-dsbl-margin-right\">\n<div class=\"motopress-clmn mp-span12 mpce-dsbl-margin-left mpce-dsbl-margin-right\">\n<p>Paddy goes to the horse races in Dublin. In the evening, he walks into a pub and orders a large brandy for himself and drinks for everyone in the bar.<br \/>\n&#8220;And have one yourself,&#8221; he tells the bartender, generously. Half an hour later, the order is repeated, and this goes on all evening until at closing time, the bartender taps Paddy on the shoulder.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I hope you don&#8217;t mind my mentioning it,&#8221; he says, &#8220;but your bill comes to two hundred pounds.&#8221; &#8220;Does it?&#8221; asks Paddy. &#8220;Well I am sorry to hear that, because I&#8217;ve not got a penny.&#8221;<br \/>\nThe bartender leaps over the bar and starts to beat Paddy and eventually kicks him out of the door, into the street. The next evening, the pub is just opening when Paddy walks in.<br \/>\n&#8220;A large brandy for me,&#8221; he announces, &#8220;and drinks for everyone in the bar. But I am not giving you one,&#8221; he says to the barman. &#8220;After a couple of drinks, you get very nasty!&#8221;<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"mp-row-fluid motopress-row mpce-dsbl-margin-left mpce-dsbl-margin-right\">\n<div class=\"motopress-clmn mp-span12 mpce-dsbl-margin-left mpce-dsbl-margin-right\">\n<div class=\"motopress-image-obj motopress-text-align-left\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/guruquote.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/osho_on_paddyjokes.jpg?fit=250%2C400&ssl=1\" title=\"osho_on_jokes\" alt=\"Old Zeb, the back-woods Virginia farmer, has been screwing one of his favorite pigs for years. Suddenly, Zeb is hit by pangs of guilt and conscience that torture him so much he decides to go and tell the priest about it in confession. Father Fungus is shocked and he really does not know how to handle this one. \"Well,\" says the priest to old Zeb, \"tell me, is the pig male or female?\" \"She's female, of course,\" snorts Zeb. \"What do you think I am -- some kind of a pervert\" class=\"motopress-image-obj-basic mpce-dsbl-margin-left mpce-dsbl-margin-right mpce-dsbl-margin-top mpce-dsbl-margin-bottom\" \/><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" ","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[165,451],"tags":[452,2],"class_list":["post-5318","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-osho","category-osho-jokes","tag-jokes","tag-osho"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - 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