{"id":5324,"date":"2018-03-23T17:07:37","date_gmt":"2018-03-23T17:07:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/guruquote.net\/?p=5324"},"modified":"2018-03-23T17:08:04","modified_gmt":"2018-03-23T17:08:04","slug":"paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/2018\/03\/23\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\/","title":{"rendered":"Paddy and Kowalski are in town for a drinking spree"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"mp-row-fluid motopress-row mpce-dsbl-margin-left mpce-dsbl-margin-right\">\n<div class=\"motopress-clmn mp-span12  mpce-dsbl-margin-left mpce-dsbl-margin-right\">\n<div class=\"mp-row-fluid motopress-row mpce-dsbl-margin-left mpce-dsbl-margin-right\">\n<div class=\"motopress-clmn mp-span12 mpce-dsbl-margin-left mpce-dsbl-margin-right\">\n<p>Paddy and Kowalski are in town for a drinking spree. After a lot of drinking, they decide to go to the hundred-story-high, revolving, Roasting Rhinoceros Restaurant for some dinner. They choose a table overlooking the city lights, but have only been sitting there for a few minutes when both of them feel the need to pee.<br \/>\n&#8220;Can you tell us where the bathroom is?&#8221; Paddy slobbers at the head waiter.<br \/>\n&#8220;Certainly, sir,&#8221; replies the waiter, pointing across the restaurant. &#8220;Just go down the passage over there, turn left and go two steps down.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The directions are repeated again for Kowalski, who is not quite sure he knows where he is, or what he is looking for. &#8220;Just remember,&#8221; says the head waiter, &#8220;turn left and two steps down&#8230;&#8221; So, Paddy and Kowalski set off across the room and down the passage. They take the first door on the left and step inside, into the open elevator shaft. One hundred stories below, Paddy slowly picks himself up off the ground. &#8220;How do you feel?&#8221; Paddy asks his Polack friend, lying beside him.<br \/>\n&#8220;Not too bad,&#8221; replies Kowalski. &#8220;But I don&#8217;t think I can manage that second step.&#8221;<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"mp-row-fluid motopress-row mpce-dsbl-margin-left mpce-dsbl-margin-right\">\n<div class=\"motopress-clmn mp-span12 mpce-dsbl-margin-left mpce-dsbl-margin-right\">\n<div class=\"motopress-image-obj motopress-text-align-left\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/guruquote.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/osho_on_paddyjokes.jpg?fit=250%2C400&ssl=1\" title=\"osho_on_jokes\" alt=\"Old Zeb, the back-woods Virginia farmer, has been screwing one of his favorite pigs for years. Suddenly, Zeb is hit by pangs of guilt and conscience that torture him so much he decides to go and tell the priest about it in confession. Father Fungus is shocked and he really does not know how to handle this one. \"Well,\" says the priest to old Zeb, \"tell me, is the pig male or female?\" \"She's female, of course,\" snorts Zeb. \"What do you think I am -- some kind of a pervert\" class=\"motopress-image-obj-basic mpce-dsbl-margin-left mpce-dsbl-margin-right mpce-dsbl-margin-top mpce-dsbl-margin-bottom\" \/><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" ","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[165,451],"tags":[452,2],"class_list":["post-5324","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-osho","category-osho-jokes","tag-jokes","tag-osho"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Paddy and Kowalski are in town for a drinking spree - Guru Quote<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/2018\/03\/23\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Paddy and Kowalski are in town for a drinking spree - Guru Quote\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/2018\/03\/23\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Guru Quote\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-03-23T17:07:37+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2018-03-23T17:08:04+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/guruquote.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/osho_on_paddyjokes.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"management\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"management\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/guruquote.net\\\/index.php\\\/2018\\\/03\\\/23\\\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/guruquote.net\\\/index.php\\\/2018\\\/03\\\/23\\\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"management\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/guruquote.net\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3e70ce8ef9b0d8c7fb9a0123b5a55df6\"},\"headline\":\"Paddy and Kowalski are in town for a drinking spree\",\"datePublished\":\"2018-03-23T17:07:37+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2018-03-23T17:08:04+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/guruquote.net\\\/index.php\\\/2018\\\/03\\\/23\\\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":206,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/guruquote.net\\\/index.php\\\/2018\\\/03\\\/23\\\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/guruquote.net\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2018\\\/03\\\/osho_on_paddyjokes.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"jokes\",\"osho\"],\"articleSection\":[\"OSHO\",\"OSHO JOKES\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/guruquote.net\\\/index.php\\\/2018\\\/03\\\/23\\\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/guruquote.net\\\/index.php\\\/2018\\\/03\\\/23\\\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/guruquote.net\\\/index.php\\\/2018\\\/03\\\/23\\\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\\\/\",\"name\":\"Paddy and Kowalski are in town for a drinking spree - Guru Quote\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/guruquote.net\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/guruquote.net\\\/index.php\\\/2018\\\/03\\\/23\\\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/guruquote.net\\\/index.php\\\/2018\\\/03\\\/23\\\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/guruquote.net\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2018\\\/03\\\/osho_on_paddyjokes.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2018-03-23T17:07:37+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2018-03-23T17:08:04+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/guruquote.net\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3e70ce8ef9b0d8c7fb9a0123b5a55df6\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/guruquote.net\\\/index.php\\\/2018\\\/03\\\/23\\\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/guruquote.net\\\/index.php\\\/2018\\\/03\\\/23\\\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/guruquote.net\\\/index.php\\\/2018\\\/03\\\/23\\\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/guruquote.net\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2018\\\/03\\\/osho_on_paddyjokes.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/guruquote.net\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2018\\\/03\\\/osho_on_paddyjokes.jpg\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/guruquote.net\\\/index.php\\\/2018\\\/03\\\/23\\\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/guruquote.net\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Paddy and Kowalski are in town for a drinking spree\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/guruquote.net\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/guruquote.net\\\/\",\"name\":\"Guru Quote\",\"description\":\"daily quotes from the best gurus\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/guruquote.net\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/guruquote.net\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3e70ce8ef9b0d8c7fb9a0123b5a55df6\",\"name\":\"management\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/cafd94818a2d0fd271506e5520281fd96017dc66b85cb116b00bdd3ec75e8779?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/cafd94818a2d0fd271506e5520281fd96017dc66b85cb116b00bdd3ec75e8779?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/cafd94818a2d0fd271506e5520281fd96017dc66b85cb116b00bdd3ec75e8779?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"management\"},\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/guruquote.net\\\/index.php\\\/author\\\/management\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Paddy and Kowalski are in town for a drinking spree - Guru Quote","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/2018\/03\/23\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Paddy and Kowalski are in town for a drinking spree - Guru Quote","og_url":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/2018\/03\/23\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\/","og_site_name":"Guru Quote","article_published_time":"2018-03-23T17:07:37+00:00","article_modified_time":"2018-03-23T17:08:04+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/guruquote.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/osho_on_paddyjokes.jpg","type":"","width":"","height":""}],"author":"management","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"management","Est. reading time":"1 minute"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/2018\/03\/23\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/2018\/03\/23\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\/"},"author":{"name":"management","@id":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/#\/schema\/person\/3e70ce8ef9b0d8c7fb9a0123b5a55df6"},"headline":"Paddy and Kowalski are in town for a drinking spree","datePublished":"2018-03-23T17:07:37+00:00","dateModified":"2018-03-23T17:08:04+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/2018\/03\/23\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\/"},"wordCount":206,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/2018\/03\/23\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/guruquote.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/osho_on_paddyjokes.jpg","keywords":["jokes","osho"],"articleSection":["OSHO","OSHO JOKES"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/2018\/03\/23\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/2018\/03\/23\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\/","url":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/2018\/03\/23\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\/","name":"Paddy and Kowalski are in town for a drinking spree - Guru Quote","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/2018\/03\/23\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/2018\/03\/23\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/guruquote.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/osho_on_paddyjokes.jpg","datePublished":"2018-03-23T17:07:37+00:00","dateModified":"2018-03-23T17:08:04+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/#\/schema\/person\/3e70ce8ef9b0d8c7fb9a0123b5a55df6"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/2018\/03\/23\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/2018\/03\/23\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/2018\/03\/23\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\/#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/guruquote.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/osho_on_paddyjokes.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/guruquote.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/osho_on_paddyjokes.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/2018\/03\/23\/paddy-kowalski-town-drinking-spree\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Paddy and Kowalski are in town for a drinking spree"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/#website","url":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/","name":"Guru Quote","description":"daily quotes from the best gurus","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/#\/schema\/person\/3e70ce8ef9b0d8c7fb9a0123b5a55df6","name":"management","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/cafd94818a2d0fd271506e5520281fd96017dc66b85cb116b00bdd3ec75e8779?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/cafd94818a2d0fd271506e5520281fd96017dc66b85cb116b00bdd3ec75e8779?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/cafd94818a2d0fd271506e5520281fd96017dc66b85cb116b00bdd3ec75e8779?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"management"},"url":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/author\/management\/"}]}},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pajjGi-1nS","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5324","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5324"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5324\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5326,"href":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5324\/revisions\/5326"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5324"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5324"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/guruquote.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5324"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}